Oh oh Hoo~
It has been in week 3 I have been here in my college after semester break. Oh well, I am struggling to eat clean and healthy. 1 month at home, I was half crazy because of no supply of good foods. My mom keep pushing me with burgers, white rice, fried and oily food. Half way I have to give up because that I merely almost got a gastric because not eating right and trying not to eat those. It is a situation when you don’t have enough money. sad but true.
Later on, I am back here in my college and no equipment for me to cook. I only can depend on boiler. What can I cook? Instant oatmeal. Green tea. Hard boiled egg?? Yes, instant foods are many out there but it totally not my choice. Hey, chemical, MSG, preservative. It is totally not a food. NOT A REAL FOOD. I am educating myself to eat right but seems that not many people can support it as they see it as a term for ‘DIET’. I’m not starving myself but I want to give my body the real food. I still can accept food that have been cooked such as ‘Nasi campur’, Nasi Ayam, Sup and Thai Food but not instant or fast food. But sometimes, they push me to the limit.
I’ve stopped counting calories. It’s driving me crazy every time that I have to calculate and be careful on my food/calories intake. “What I’ve eaten just now? Is it more than calories that I should consume per day? Am I gonna be fat after eating all those that? Should I run more miles because I eating more calories? Should I cut eating this because I’m not eat clean? Did I over consume? What Should I do to eat less than 1200cal? How to survive?”
I’m not kidding. That are what have been played in my mind for this 3 weeks. I saw the different even it really slow. I understand the way I eat show on my results. But lately, I’ve so many question in my mind. I don’t want to restrict myself on food. The main point here is to always keep myself eat in moderation. When I restrict myself from not eating right, I tend to eat lots of food.
I was really frustrated. I don’t want to give up but my body is playing with me on food which I totally struggle to handle it. I want to be a girl who is never afraid to eat. I want to eat real food and to eat it without hesitation. I want to enjoy my food without even have to care about calories.
To overcome it, I believe that I need to move my lazy butt and hits it on a track! I should overcome my laziness. Nothing can be help if I keep on giving excuses. I am tired of giving up and started everything all over again.
I’m trying to educate myself to learn to eat healthy and start to make my body fit. Forget those scale. Forget those number. Try to enjoy and give my best. Dear Fieza, you can do it!